imaginelarrys: stylinsmut: im a hostess at a restaurant and my favorite thing to do is ask 14/15 year old boys who are out on dates if they want a kids menu i love you
positivemilk: But mom how am I suppose to buy drugs with a gift card
Reblog if you'd rather be high right now
lonelywhiteasian: lay nudes at my gravestone, not flowers. flowers will wither away, but a bomb ass booty is forever
Drink and drink some more. In the end you’ll have a story. You’ll know what it is like to breathe again. Suffer in silence or drink until you’re empty. Finally your choice to do what’s right.
gelatins: hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2
the-adequate-gatsby: It’s 3 am You hear a noise in your kitchen You go to investigate It’s me sitting at your table I ask you to sit down “I want to know why you though that comment on my post was necessary.”
1950s lyrics: splishin and a-splashin, one time i was splishin and a-splashin. ooh, i was movin and a-groovin. yeah, i was splishin and a-splashin.
1960s lyrics: he hit me and it felt like a kiss. he hit me and i knew he loved me. if he didn't care for me, i could have never made him mad. but he hit me and i was glad.
1970s lyrics: my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, i want to play with my ding-a-ling. my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, i want to play with my ding-a-ling.
2012 lyrics: i'm pimpin where i'm winnin, thats just how i’m chillin. i'm smokin grits and sellin chickens, corvette painted lemons.
EVERY DECADE HAS BAD LYRICS NOW GET OVER YOURSELVES YOU INSUFFERABLE DOUCHEBAGS
iamtonysexual: jonandtheon: jonandtheon: jonandtheon: MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN RED ASLERT I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME?? update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost He’ll be vital to your quest later,...
thecompanionsdoctor: I WAS IN MY SHOWER WHILE SPOTIFY WAS PLAYING AND AFTER LIKE 15 SECONDS OF SILENCE I HEAR THE AD GUY SCREAMING “HELLO THERE SPOTIFY LISTENER” AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMEONE IN MY BATHROOM AND I NEARLY FELL OVER